Spouses Admit to Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity is surprisingly common in the United States. When partners or spouses co-mingle finances, there is an expectation of transparency and accountability for both parties. Unfortunately, a survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) found that a whopping two in five (43%) of respondents admitted to acts of financial infidelity including hiding purchases, secret bank accounts, concealed debts, lying about income earned, and more.

Over 2,000 adults were surveyed in June 2021. The most common form of financial infidelity was hiding purchases, bills, accounts, and money. 39% of respondents admitted to doing this, and the most common thing they did was hide cash from their spouse.

When is it abuse?

Financial infidelity is any significant lie about money to your partner. It could be an outright lie that is told, or it could be a lie of omission or a deliberate concealment of information about the finances. But when do the money lies cross over into the area of financial abuse?

Since October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we did an article on the intersection of financial infidelity and abuse. If a spouse is hiding money, accounts, and debts that both spouses should have access to and knowledge of, this is financial abuse.

Why do people commit financial infidelity?

Money is a complex topic for most couples, even when both people have good intentions. Unfortunately, spouses don’t always have good intentions around money. From embarrassment, and shame to outright deceit, your spouse may be committing financial infidelity for a variety of reasons.

Should you ask your spouse what they are hiding?

Short answer, no. You may read this article and immediately want to pick up that phone to call or text your partner and confront them about what is happening with the money. This may seem logical but it is NOT your best course of action. If you suspect your spouse is hiding money, the first step you should take is to gather financial information and put it in a safe place. Get as many account statements and tax returns as you can and secure them right away. This financial information will be invaluable as you unravel what is going on, and even more so if you ultimately decide to divorce.

Here’s how I can help you today

With over 25 years of experience investigating financial fraud, these statistics do not surprise me. I often see signs of financial infidelity in marriages, even when there is not romantic infidelity. Financial infidelity carries huge consequences for the marriage and can be a contributing factor to one spouse filing for divorce.

I created a product to help you navigate the often murky waters of finances during your divorce. I know the money stuff can feel very overwhelming, particularly if you have not played an active role in your family's finances. The Divorce Money Guide is here to help you figure out where you stand with the money. It breaks it all down so you'll know what to do each step of the way... from what documents you need, to how you will get them, to what you look for so you can find hidden money and understand how much you're spending.

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