Narcissistic Abuse During Divorce

If you thought being married to a narcissist was difficult, wait until you are divorcing one. It can be downright dangerous. While you may hear the word narcissist thrown around the divorce world frequently, you might be missing some key facts about people like this and how you can successfully divorce a narcissist.

Three Things You Can Expect When Divorcing a Narcissist

The best tip you may get when divorcing a narcissist is to expect the unexpected. Narcissists are very good at keeping you on your toes, but there are common tactics used by many of them and you are likely to experience some of these things during your divorce.

Here are the three most common things my clients experience when they're getting divorced from a husband who exhibits narcissistic traits. Odds are, they'll happen to you too.

Withholding financial support: It is common for an abusive husband who holds the purse strings to refuse to pay for necessary expenses like the mortgage, car payment, or other living expenses. This is especially difficult if you've been a stay-at-home mom and you don't have an income source of your own. He knows you're going to be in a financial bind, and he is trying to hurt you (both financially and emotionally) with these actions.

Controlling access to funds: Even if your narcissistic husband doesn't overtly financially abuse you in the divorce process, he may control your access to funds. It may not seem like abuse but it definitely can be. If you have joint bank or credit card accounts that you're relying on to pay living expenses, and he removes you from those accounts so you can't access the money, you've just seen a typical move from a narcissist.

Using the legal system: It is common for narcissists to use the legal system to abuse you during the divorce. They intentionally drag out the divorce proceedings, run up your legal bills unnecessarily, don't turn over required information and documents, and generally make it impossible for you to get a fair settlement in the divorce. Legal abuse when divorcing a narcissist is very common.

How Do You Protect Yourself?

It is time to get proactive. Your best actions include:

• Gather as much financial information as you can. Get account statements, tax returns, and other important financial documents before you lose access to them.
• Open bank and credit card accounts that have only your name on them so that you have money that is protected. Only you can access these funds.
• Speak to a divorce attorney sooner rather than later, so you understand your rights under the laws of your state.

To learn more about how you can protect yourself when getting divorced from someone with narcissistic behaviors, get our resource, Divorcing a Narcissist.