Mistakes Made in Divorce

Divorce is a new process for most of us, thankfully. But because it's unfamiliar, that also means you're likely to make mistakes in the process. Even when you ask well-meaning friends and family for advice.

So it's better to take advice from experts like Susan Guthrie, a long-time family law attorney and mediator and co-founder of the Mosten Guthrie Academy. She also hosts the Divorce and Beyond Podcast, and she's no stranger to helping women have better divorces.

Susan is my guest on this week's episode of  my podcast, Find Me The Money. We're talking about Mistakes Made in Divorce. The episode is  about common mistakes people make as they’re going through the divorce process. It’s important to know these mistakes so you can avoid them!

There is a common misconception that divorce has to be a litigated battle, but Susan wants you to know that it is important to de-escalate the conflict in your divorce if you can. We talk about the benefits of hiring a divorce coach and the right financial professional. Susan and I also touch on the pitfalls of labeling your ex as a narcissist.

The Biggest Mistake

First choosing a litigated divorce is the biggest mistake Susan sees. Less than 5% of all divorces are decided in full by a judge. Nearly 95% of divorces are done with a settlement agreement and these agreements take mutual respect and a cool head. There are many options before litigation, so don't just come out swinging. Do your best to calm your emotions and make a good decision about how to manage your divorce.

Don't Hire the Shark

Sometimes people just want to hire a divorce attorney who is known as a shark or a pit bull. But that sets you up for a more difficult divorce. It is very hard to de-escalate with an attorney that is ready to burn all bridges to get what you want. This attorney may feel like the best option when you are in full on protection mode, but this style and approach to divorce WILL cost you more money and lead to a very divisive process. 

What You SHOULD Do First

Susan recommends hiring a divorce coach and financial planner first. These two people can help you strategically plan and not make emotional decisions. They can also help you save money! I still recommend meeting with attorneys early on. Ideally you should meet with at least three attorneys prior to hiring your attorney. You want it to be a good fit and not based on emotion. 

Why it DOESN'T Matter if You Think Your Ex is a Narcissist

Susan wants you to focus less on your ex and "beating" them and focus on empowering yourself and stepping into survivor mode instead of seeing yourself as a victim of a narcissist. You aren't going to change your ex. Stop spending your time and energy on this and shift it to YOU.  

Don't miss this episode, Susan has seen it all and has can't miss tips to get through your divorce. Listen to the podcast episode Mistakes Made in Divorce here.