Divorce Season is Here

Did you know there is a 33% increase in divorce filings during January, with another spike in August? This time is not so affectionately (or maybe a little affectionately if you're a divorce lawyer) referred to as divorce season.

You may have been like many married women who smiled through the December holidays for the sake of your kids. And now you are officially ready to move forward. Read on to know what to watch out for from a shady spouse, how to start planning today, and how affairs complicate money. 

Why Do People Wait?

For many families on the brink of divorce, they find it important to celebrate the end of the year holiday season and give their kids one last holiday together as an intact family. Or some couples may have thought "let’s try and tough it out for one more holiday and see if we can’t fix things." And when that doesn’t work or when you get through the holidays as planned, January is the time when you decide it is go time to file for divorce. 

Reasons for Divorce

Most marriages end because of stressors over time that seem to accumulate and then lead to the end of things. The three main culprits I see often are finances (hello money struggles), kids (yes, those beautiful babies can often lead to a lot of conflict), and affairs.

Financial issues are often the straw that will break the camel’s back. There are a lot of problems that couples can have and can work through, but when the money starts to fall apart, for many people that’s something that they just don’t seem to recover from.

When Money and an Affair Collide

I have seen a lot as a forensic accountant and my most memorable cases include money and affairs. Affairs are not just unethical, but they are also EXPENSIVE and that money has to come from somewhere. Affairs and money issues go hand in hand.

I’ve worked on countless divorces involving affairs, and I dig deep to see how much a spouse has spent on their affair partner. Is there a secret account somewhere that’s been used to fund this affair? Is there that secret credit card? Might there be some secret real estate somewhere?

It can take some digging, but it is worth it to make sure you get the financial settlement you deserve in your divorce! 

What to Watch Out For With Your Spouse

You may not be the only one planning for divorce season! It is important to keep an eye on your finances, because your spouse may be doing a little divorce planning themselves and it can get shady fast. You want to keep an eye on money moves that don’t make sense. (Yes, "divorce financial planning" is a real thing!)

If you’re keeping an eye on your bank account and your credit cards, do you see larger amounts of money moving, maybe being transferred out of an account? Is your spouse playing some games with the taxes, maybe not getting the tax returns filed, maybe pushing to file them really quick without letting you see them?

Anything out of the ordinary to have to do with the money that gives you a feeling in the pit of your stomach that just this is unusual or doesn’t seem like it always was or doesn’t seem quite right. That’s what I would be concerned about.

Planning For Your Divorce

If you find yourself as one of those people who are ready to join in on divorce season, you need a plan. There are two different sides of planning.

There’s the one where if you’re my client, I’m saying, “You need to plan and protect yourself and do certain things.” And then there’s the what if your spouse is planning and doing something shady? So let’s talk about it first from the standpoint of you are my client and I want to help you be prepared.

You need to start gathering important documents like passports, birth certificates, marriage certificates, things like that, the facts and figures about yourself. Start gathering account statements, too. I want you to start getting those account statements while you still have access to the accounts with your name on them. Because oftentimes when a divorce is filed, someone’s name gets taken off an account, someone gets locked out of an account, and it’s not as easy to get information.

Now that you've covered the information side, you need to tackle the money. I want you to have access to money that is protected in an account that’s only in your name. So your spouse who is soon to be your ex-spouse, can’t close that account and cannot take money out of the account.

One of the really unfortunate and common things that I see in divorces is a spouse who is a stay-at-home parent who has no source of income because they haven’t been working. They’ve been raising the kids and all of a sudden divorce is filed and the bank account is drained or their name is taken off the account. In an instant, they have no resources. But with an account in your name alone, you will have some security.

With a plan in place, you can get through your own "divorce season" and come out of your divorce feeling like you got a fair and just outcome. This free resource will help you at the start of your divorce, giving you more tips on planning for your divorce so you are financial protected.

Check Out the Podcast

If you want to hear more on divorce season, the financial aspects of divorce, and planning your exit this divorce season, you can listen to me on this episode of the BiggerPockets Money podcast with Mindy Jensen and Scott Trench.